FINDING TIME FOR KINDNESS

FINDING TIME FOR KINDNESS AND KINDNESS IN CHAOS

Before he turned his kingdom over to Buddhism, King Ashoka had been a particularly ruthless warlord. There is a story about a monk who walked on to a battlefield during one of King Ashoka’s typically vicious battles. There was an injunction at the time against monks being harmed, even in war. The monk positioned himself so that no one could fight past him without injuring him. And so the battle paused.

And there was silence.

During this moment of peace, the ravages of this horrible battle could be seen in context. These were humans that had torn each other apart. The monk sat in the midst of this smouldering wreckage and, it is said, Ashoka was faced with the brutality of his violence. He also very clearly saw the power of kindness.

Extreme violence had seemed justified because Ashoka believed he was destined to unite the Indian kingdom states. Given the cultural disparity of the people and their long held grievances and bias toward each other, this was a daunting task. Yet being mercenary by nature, Ashoka could not deny the power of nonviolence he had seen before him. In context, he could also no longer ignore the horrid cruelty of war. The monk became an inspiration stronger than the banners and war cries of his clan. Ashoka ushered in Buddhism and its vows of kindness as a unifying force for his people. He became the first Indian king. And India became the first Buddhist nation.

There is another version of the story which deals with “Ashoka’s hell”. Ashoka had built an infamous prison, which was designed to be more punishing and cruel than anyone had ever experienced and it was an apparently effective deterrent. While on the surface, Buddhist principles of nonviolence, kindness and understanding had inspired the populace, Ashoka himself hadn’t converted. It seemed he found no problem utilizing cruelty to secure his ends. Ashoka’s hell had an especially cruel mandate: no one who enters would ever be released. In this telling, the monk nonetheless entered the gates and sat with those afflicted with punishment. As no one could harm a monk, it created a gap in the cruelty. Ashoka himself came to speak with the monk and when he did the monk reminded him of his primary mandate. Ashoka felt stuck. The monk encouraged the enraged king to sit. While resting in meditation, Ashoka woke up and saw the pain around him that he himself had created and was theoretically forced to endure. If he remained in his dungeon his kingdom would likely fall.  Ashoka had no recourse but to dismantle his hell.

And as he stepped out from that hell, Ashoka did not drop his laws or remove his armies. That would have been naive and not responsible to his people. What changed was his intention. If he was acting to care and protect his people then he was in the right and the energy of this benevolence would bring success.  On the other hand, when he fell into self interest, acting out of blind hatred, his efforts would be destructive. The keys here are intention and clear seeing.  The basis for compassion in the Buddhist system is wisdom. Wisdom is knowing without prejudice and is based on clear seeing. We are able to rise above the aggression of ‘this and that’ and see with connection. Perhaps we are not so different from those we wish to destroy.

In our chaotic and dangerous lives it is understandable if we might be seduced into violence and aggression. Yet, if we act out of aggression, we have already lost. For anyone interested in compassion, it is essential that we act from serenity and a basis of peace so that we clearly see our intention. If our intention is to mette out pain and suffering because we feel violated, then we are stuck in a circular dance of destruction. Fighting fire with fire, it is said, burns everything down. Indeed there are some who do that in this world. And there are many more who are unclear what they want, but simply follow along with hatred because it’s the easiest grab. But, if we join this fight out of fear because everyone else is doing it, then we are lashing out blindly. When we do so, we are no longer in control of ourselves or in touch with our mind. Although this may feel momentarily powerful, we are actually in a very defenseless position. When we don’t see, we are offering ourselves up to be victimized.

Awareness is the best defence. And awareness is born of stability of mind. Hence, serenity is what we need to see beyond the darkness of our own defenses. Although our lives are fraught with danger and chaos, we can train ourselves toward effective self-care rather than reflexive self-defence by meditation. Sitting in the quiet center of the turmoil of our life, we can learn that we are not obligated to join the frey. We begin to learn how to boycott reflexive defenses and learn to see clearly and create our intention. Intentional, or mindful action is when we are awake ad incontrol. And if our deepest vow is to protect ourselves and all others, then we can make choices accordingly. We are not obligated to be assholes.

What we do is our choice. It’s always been our choice. Which path leads to benefit and which to destruction? Unfortunately, there are no fixed answers. Each situation requires a specific understanding. And that wisdom can only happen from a stable and quiet mind. I think we can all do this right now, today. We can make a commitment to develop a mind of compassion. The cornerstone is meditation practice. Stability leads to clarity, leads to appropriate intention. Or better said, serenity leads to wisdom, leads to compassionate action.

In order to create the ground for serenity, we can train ourselves away from aggression. Aggression happens when we’ve squeezed ourselves into a corner. A cornered animal is dangerous as it sees no options. The warrior of compassion releases themselves from pressure and allows the space for kindness to be an option. By creating the space for kindness in our lives, we create openness in our hearts. Our world feels better. And as our world begins to feel better, we might begin to see more ways to find the space for more kindness. I don’t know if this will affect the world, but I do know that removing myself from hell, I am able to see that my path to kindness is key to peace in my life.

I don’t know if there will ever be kindness on earth. I do know there can be kindness in my heart.  And that kindness is something I can share with everyone.