Month: February 2023

GRATITUDE is not only a nice thing to feel, it is a powerful spiritual practice. It is a way of opening to the world with positivity and love. Yet, gratitude is all too often lost in the pressures of our materialistic world. This kind thought doesn’t hold much value to the self-mesmerized ego-mind. Ego whispers that the world has taken so much from us we need to grab some back.  Its dangerous, these whispers opine, to acknowledge the kindness the world has offered us. Perhaps we might jinx it, or maybe we’ll weaken our position.

 

Frequently objects of gratitude lie hiding among the negative circumstances of our lives. We’d never want to acknowledge how much an adversary might have helped us. And while bias against seeing the value of painful places seems understandable, withholding our gratitude for the things we learned or the places we benefited, robs us of enacting its healing power. While being grateful to someone might help them, it always helps us. Gratitude is an opening of the heart that allows energy to flow from our spirit to the spirit of the universe within another. We are communicating on the heart level by feeling grateful to those who have cared for us. And while undoubtedly, many have cared with pure intention, gratitude also works for those who have helped imperfectly, or who have aided our journey in the course of causing us harm. The well-known Mahayana Buddhist slogan “Be Grateful To Everyone” suggests that even those who have harmed us have given us cause to develop compassion. And, while it may seem a tall order to feel grateful to those who have hurt us – and it may be impossible in some cases – when we are able to offer this kindness, it feels as if a great burden was lifted. We no longer have to be weighted down in the mire of our resentment. We can offer an adversary whatever kindness and forgiveness our heart can offer and release ourselves for the constant tit-for-tat legering of ego. Let it go.

 

Let it go if not for the other’s sake, then for our own.  When we are able to look through the eyes of gratitude, we notice more of the world, and we begin to see how much of that world has been part of a cradle of loving kindness that has sustained us. Many of us have built self-limiting stories about how we were short changed by our families, abandoned by friends, or hurt by society. And while there may be truth to all of this, where in those scenarios might we recognize kindnesses that were bestowed. These kindnesses do not negate cruelties or indifference, but they can certainly be added to the equation adding more light, hope and possibility to our self-story. 

 

When things go well, we feel blessed. But sometimes that creates an assumption of awesomeness on our part. It’s very healthy to feel awesome when things go well for us, but do we need to have each victory build our ego beyond reasonable dimensions?  LIke resentments, egoic awards are weighty and unwieldy to carry.  One way to cut the advance of ego appropriation is to acknowledge the goodness of those who contributed to our victory. One way to set ourselves up for failure and disappointment is to assume it was all our doing. In the 12-step traditions, they mention the power of self-will as being a self-centered way of making our relationship to the world all about ourselves. This might feel powerful to ego, but this impenetrable castle is a sad and lonely place to be.

 

The truth of karma is that nothing is ever only about us. Life is a confluence of causes and conditions that come together every present moment. Many of these moments may have been negative and due to our ingrained negativity bias we sometimes allow this to overshadow the preponderance of goodness that has sustained us. But there has ever been goodness that has sustained us. Tibetans refer to “Tashi Tendril”, which means interconnected good fortune, or auspicious coincidence. It is the idea that we are recipients of a network of goodness that has created and sustains us.  It is fundamentally good that we are here and very good that we are connected to the goodness of others.

 

The practice of meditation in the Shambhala Buddhist tradition is a process by which we are beginning to open our eyes to the goodness in the world, and the goodness in ourselves. When I acknowledge gratitude in a given instance, I am opening my heart to see more of the goodness in the world.

Today’s New Moon marks a new beginning to the Tibetan reading of the Lunar New Year.  And whether you celebrate only the Gregorian / Julian / solar new year, or count the lunar calendar from another date, any new moon is a time of reassessment and rebirth. In the darkest eve of the coming of the light, we connect to the womb, the mother the progenitor of our race and being.

 

Traditionally, the Tibetan people recognize a period of reckoning at the end of the lunar cycle. For the last 10 days many of us have done protetor practices to help guide the coming of the new year and an easing of the karma of the past.  Monasteries across the Himalayas, and their connected centers elsewhere in the world, do a strict cycle of ritual practice leading up to the arrival of the new year celebration called Yarne.  Often the new year is marked by the return of a high Lama from retreat,the unveiling of a statue, or the consecration of a new temple. On the new year – or LOSAR – the community will gather along with its children, chickens, dogs and relatives from afar in celebration. And there will be food. My goodness, there will be food.

 

This year we celebrate the year of the WATER RABBIT.

 

The most important point of this newly turning energy is our personal emergence from the patterns that, like the cocoons they weave, have protected us and yet have kept us locked in place. The cocoon is an important aspect of our rebirth, but rebirth does imply emerging from the cocoon, at some point. We can offer gratitude for the cocoon, and the patterns that have protected and enslaved us.  But, when the time is right it may be the right time to step away from some old limiting beliefs. And while we step away from these limiting beliefs, what new vistas might we encounter.

 

This coming new year, or new lunar cycle, what are the things you wish to abandon, what do you need to accept and what would you care to cultivate. Tibetan Buddhist practice is referred to as VajraYana – or the indestructible way. It is reliant on a full commitment toward Buddhahood, and the Way of the Bodhisattva. This means our primary concern is to develop ourselves to be of service to our world and each other.  This begins with service to our own path of emergence from the vicious darkness of defensive self-obsession into the light of awareness. Stepping from the cocoon is a first step that reasserts our commitment to the path of the Buddha and service to humanity.

When the going gets tough, the tough take it easy. Not that we give up, or play dead, but that we relax into facing adversity with confidence and poise. This is what is meant by being a warrior.

 

Life has many challenges.  We would do well to recognize these and relax into them.  The I Ching says during times of difficulty, be like water. Wait and build up your strength. Then, when the time is right, you have the energy to flow around the obstacles.  In difficult times, rather than become overwhelmed by possibilities, we can relax our focus on the only time we can control: NOW. What is happening now? And what is the best next step?

 

Obviously, it helps to have a general sense of where we are heading. Sometime we have the luxury of looking out over the mountain ridge and see the expanse of our journey. But when the path becomes steep and arduous we turn our gaze now-ward and relax into the present, one step at a time. The steeper the climb, the more we look to the earth to keep our pace and balance. THe beautiful mountains, rivers, streams and valleys we long to experience are unattainable without taking the next right step before us. Sometimes we make great strides in life.  But sometimes all we can do is meet the moment as it appears right now.

 

The more difficult the journey becomes, the more we can relax into just being here.  Dangerous moments on our journey elicit anxiety and fear. This typically drives us away from the present sending us careening across the peaks and valleys in search of an imagined refuge from our panic. The more frightened we become, the more we feel we need to save us.  We are making more work for ourselves at a time when we should be conserving energy.  But while there is value to our imagination, when the going gets tough, the warrior does not react to their fear.  The warrior accepts their fear, and their present circumstances, with simple dignity.  When times get tough, the warrior becomes more present. The warrior takes their seat and builds their strength. There is great humility in this willingness to give up control, but to simply remain present and take the next right step. This is also a great relief. It’s so much easier to let go of all the ancillary worries and simply bring the mind back to a workable solution. When circumstance seem overwhelming, we can simplify our approach. Sometimes it’s as easy as remembering all we have to do is show up and to be kind. 

 

When the mountain path becomes arduous, turn your eyes to the rocky steps beneath you. Relax and remember to love yourself. Taking one step at a time, it will be clear where you need to go. Should the path becomes a tumultuous river, sink low like water who is never distressed but finds it own nature in its own way. Rest before the boulders blocking your journey until you have the strength to flow beyond your obstacles – and then simply pass by them without recrimination, comment or concern. Just let anxiety flow behind you as you gently glide past difficulties.

 

This is the way of a warrior. Brave enough to remain present, strong enough to remain true to your journey and kind enough to remain awake for the sake of all beings.

 

When the going gets tough, relax and remain present and find the easy way through. There is no fruit to meeting violence with aggression. Rise above that. Be a warrior and take it easy.