EYES THAT SEE THEMSELVES

Throughout history, meditation adepts, shamans, scientists, philosophers, poets, and artists have pointed to a realm of existence beyond our everyday experience. These realms exist as experiences beyond our norm, so we imbue them with fanciful mystery. Yet it may be that these experiences are very ordinary. Maybe we have glimpses of the truth beyond truth all the time. But maybe we fail to recognize these opening into the profound as we scurry from place to place to place. Our earth evolved uniquely to host conscious life, so it is quite rare and precious.  It is our home and the incubator that gave birth to a consciousness that can glimpse itself and the possibility beyond itself. Perhaps, it is through human eyes that the universe sees itself. Perhaps by seeing ourselves, we can see the universe.

Caged by gravity and necessity, life came to know itself.  If our human mind is an analogue of space, then perhaps the mind itself is vast potential tethered to a limited condition in order to develop an understanding beyond itself.  Unlimited consciousness seems to need limited circumstances to develop awareness. Just as the vastness of possibility became manifest as it was tethered and limited to the confines of our planet, so the vastness of our mind is held in a sense of self. This sense of self is an awareness of being to which we identify.  It is a protective encasement that acts as an incubator for development of our limited consciousness into the wisdom from which it came. But that incubator becomes a cage when we believe this is who we are and all we know. The power of our consciousness becomes locked within itself and can see only projections of itself.  This cage, strengthened by personal and societal beliefs, becomes seemingly solid and permanent. This fabricated self lies in dissonance to the dynamic space around it. We hold to the belief that we are solid and permanent, while everything around us changes. This dissonance creates friction that we feel as suffering. The stronger our cage, the more we are protected from the vicissitude of reality, yet the more isolated we are from the vastness of our potential. And hence, we suffer.

While many spiritual traditions attempt to see beyond the cage, Mahayana Buddhism attempts to understand both the cage and the space beyond. Compassion is a conversation between the absolute and the relative in which we develop our provisional, limited consciousness into a consciousness that knows itself and has the capacity to lead others to that liberation. Glimpsing the matrix that underlies reality can be a profound experience. But we have to develop a skill that allows us to communicate this experience to others. If carefully traveled, this wisdom path offers glimpses of an experience beyond life that offers a sense of compassion, caring and clarity. These glimpses of a larger perspective can offer more clarity to the cage with which we are and ensconced.

So, what is the cage and why would we choose to be here?

The cage is a protective encasement that allows us to grow. It provisionally separates us from everything else, so we naturally develop an identity. This sense of self is a fiction fabricated solely to provide a reference point for our development. But it is not real in that it does not have the solid capacities we attribute to it.  The problem is that we are trapped in this constraint before we have a chance to develop our relative awareness, so we fail to see our connection to all life. We begin to discriminate. And so doing, we separate life experience into for and against, good or bad, right or wrong. The system becomes complicated when our survival instincts become fused to these imaginary designations. And so we fight to protect ourselves from that which we have come to believe is wrong, or against, or evil. And in these dualistic battles, we become so self-centered that we fail to see anything, including ourselves, with much clarity. Trapped within the confines of our cage, the vast potential of mind has only itself to see. Locked in this room of mirrors, we are reduced to iterations of what we have seen before. We weave our cage from the protective patterns of past experience and live a life much smaller than we might.  Taken to its extreme, this cage is an imprisonment. But the light of awareness shines through these walls regardless. We are trained to look away from the light and try and decipher the shadows.  But every time we look up, or each time life interrupts our planning, we create a gap in the wall. Every time we bring our mind back from delusion to the breath, we widen the cracks.

And what of the space beyond the cage?

If we look at the universe for clues to our mind we see that there are so many possibilities. But most of these possibilities are deadly. Most of the space beyond our world is inhospitable to the development of consciousness. So, it is said that life as we know it is exceedingly rare and precious.  And perhaps this is why we cling to it with such tenacity. Yet in that panicked clinging, we lose sight of the larger picture around our cage. We tend to think the cage is all there is. So, it is the path of a wisdom tradition not to reinforce what we believe we are, but to develop toward openness of possibility so we might become. So, we don’t know what is in the space beyond the cage, so it would be wise to develop slowly and carefully. It is said that when we move beyond space, we look back to the cage with understanding and compassion. We are excited for our liberation as we are compassionate toward our imprisonment. The key to this gentle opening of the spirit, is that with each careful incremental step we take, we stop to see the view. And what we see is excitement for our liberation and sadness toward the imprisonment of the world. There is no way to convey our larger perspectives to the world. Our work is to learn to translate our experience in words that can be heard. The key to this translation is remembering how we felt. So, we are not jettisoning into space. We are rising slowly with the understanding that we are not alone, but connected to all.

The development of compassion is essential. That as we develop ourselves to see, we learn to see with eyes of love. Otherwise, what we see is antagonistic. And antagonism or aggression of any sort is a shutting down. Only thru the eyes of love can we see with any clarity. Only with eyes of love can we see truth.

And so, we dedicate our journey to the liberation of all beings. We wish that we and all beings may develop the mind to see beyond itself, so that we have the eyes to see ourselves.

UNCOVERING THE WOUND

A slow uncovering of the wounds that bind us, is an apt description of the path of compassion. Understanding and transforming our pain is a common motivator for the path. Many of us came to the path because we were in pain. There is nothing like a broken heart to introduce us to meditation. But once that heart has mended, or once we get tired of that broken song, what is it that prompts us to continue on the path?

It is said that the path of compassion is a continuous journey that demands cognizance on every step.  If we are interested in developing true compassion then daily maintenance is our commitment. We are constantly learning, uncovering, and transforming our inner lives so that we can be of greater service to our world. And, this is an ongoing process. We may never get “there” – wherever we think “there” is. Doctor King saw the mountain. And in one of his more heartbreaking moments said, I might not make it with you.  The point of his journey was not personal accomplishment, but his great contribution to humankind. He was part of a stream of understanding that flowed from the source of human kindness and when he left, that stream continued.  Many will say that the stream of kindness has been dammed by the sediment of self-interest. But, the path of true compassion endeavors to see the larger picture. There has always been wounds and there has always been kindness. It’s important to see that the pain and suffering in the world is caused by its wounds, not by an inherent evil. The “Lion’s Roar” is the fearless proclamation that all life is workable.

So how can we help anyone, when we ourselves are wounded?  We talk about “opening the heart”.  But what does that mean? Usually, this statement evokes feelings of empathy, communication, and kindness. But doesn’t opening the heart also release the pain that we have been protecting and the suffering we are protecting ourselves against?  When we began the path our wounds were the source of antagonism and aggression. In an attempt to protect ourselves from a future projection of past violence we struck out against actual or imagined danger. However, it may be that these wounds are also the source of empathy, communication, and kindness. The “Lion’s Roar” may be that the wounds we guard in embarrassed secrecy may be our gateway to compassion. When we have worked the path of self-discovery, we get what it is to be human. And because of this, we understand what humans need. Opening the heart is simply relaxing the protective tension with which we gird ourselves. As this cocoon is protecting us from real, imagined or remembered pain, we must respect it. Opening the heart is not about aggression at all.  Opening the heart is acceptance and release.

Coeur is the word in French and Old English for heart. Courage is to have heart. Courage is the bravery to open carefully and slowly with great respect. Our meditation posture is an expression of this bravery. In the Shambhala tradition we call this wariorship. But it is not warriorship based on war. It is not courage based on arrogance. Nor is it a denial of anything at all. It is simple uncovering and acceptance of who we are and the willingness to face that when we are able. And when it all gets too much? We retreat. But, retreat in this case is not defeat. It is a conscious pause to allow creativity and intelligence to enter. With this mindful pause, we can respond to the difficulties of life rather than react to them. In this way the warrior stands tall with the bravery to feel their pain and their joy without believing that pain is a punishment or happiness a reward. The warrior is willing to face life as it happens. This is non-theism. We don’t demonize our suffering nor don’t exalt our joy. There is goodness to everything under the sun. Including that which hides in the shadows. For when we accept our pain, sadness and suffering, we might find an openness for creative expression.

Pema Chodron speaks of suffering as having created a wound in our heart. All of us have those wounds. Pema suggests that we cover the wound to protect it, as we would a physical wound. However, with a physical wound we remove the bandaid for it to heal under the sun. But emotional wounds often remain covered, and so healing is compromised. We become embarrassed of the wounds, somehow believing we are the only ones. Because they don’t heal in the shadows, the wound becomes sensitive to touch. We are constantly bumping into the wound, and flincing through life trying to protect ourselves from the pain. This creates more suffering. Yet, the saddest part of this is how we are denying the very thing that makes us unique. No one notices perfect trees in the forest. We notice the trees that are gnarled and curled from lightning, bent by wind or darkened by fire. These trees have character. And our pain gives us character. Lightning struck trees don’t feel embarrassed about themselves. Nor do three legged dogs. Nor do blues musicians, or poets as they express their pain. Is there a form of life on earth that judges itself as much as humans do? There is a song by The Big Moon that goes “trouble doesn’t last forever. The trouble is that memories do.”

Rather than run from our wounds, we can carefully, slowly, allow them expression. Rather than react with hatred, shame and discouragement, we might allow our suffering to connect us to all who are suffering. This is not easy and it takes daily, manual practice, but acceptance of the wound will give us a presence that cannot be faked. In the Shambhala Tradition we call this Authentic Presence. While everyone has suffered, no one else has our own wounds. They have made us perfectly who we are. Thus our wounds connect us to everyone, but also makes us very specifically ourselves.

But we would do well to encourage our opening slowly with great care. In the AA tradition they say, “may you have a long, slow recovery.”  We are the basis of the path to compassion. May we discover ourselves slowly with great love.

 

Here is an aspiration:

May I never outrun my pain, so that I remain humble.

May I not hide from my fear, so I may remain aware.

May I see what I have suffered as a sign of strength, rather than weakness.

May I stand here in the midst of myself and remain open to all I can.

 

 

_________________

 

todays images are by EMMA RUTH RUNDLE

https://www.emmaruthrundle.com/visual-art

and YUKO TATSUSHIMA

https://images.app.goo.gl/YzGYQJgVBWFrWuaG8

 

please discover more from these brave women

 

THE CRADLE OF LOVING KINDNESS

The Cradle of Loving Kindness

Chogyam Trungpa directed his students to “place the mind of fearfulness in the cradle of loving kindness.” In this way, we are able to acknowledge and hold our fears, rather than be controlled by them. The cradle of loving kindness is the gentle firmness of the body opening to the experience of fear. Rather than constricting our feelings in a body of tension, we are holding our fear with openness.

Loving kindness is also a term used to refer to meditation practices that open the heart. Referred to as “Maitri” in Sanskrit, these practices are a precursor to compassion practices or “Karuna” as they involve acceptance of ourselves and our experience. Maitri is like a smile we use to greet our feelings. Compassion refers to the action of engaging in suffering. Before we can help anyone,  we need to accept ourselves and our own fear.  For this reason Trungpa used to say “smile at fear”. 

Smiling is a more profound application than we would think. If we’re able to smile at the difficulties in life we are accepting them with a positivity and gentleness that allows us access into our feelings. When we gird ourselves in tension, we are trying to push the feelings away. We are creating an antagonistic relationship with a natural and necessary part of human experience. 

Fear is nothing to fear.  It is an alarm system alerting us to possible difficulties. It is our emotional and psychological interpretation of that fear that creates complications. When fear triggers an unsettled feeling in the heart, the mind comes to the rescue.  However, when panicked, the mind will only have recourse to habitual solutions. It will perform old experiments expecting new results. Driven by anxiety, we will reach for that drink, call our ex or hit send before our higher executive functioning has a chance to assess the situation. In this way, in an attempt to relieve our fears, we create difficulties. 

On the other hand, should we STOP and FEEL into our present experience rather than be driven by fear, we can acknowledge and hold it with open arms.  If we cannot heal the trauma that causes us to be fearful, we can heal the suffering we feel. The Buddha told the soldier to remove the arrow before we try and strategize our next move. Deal with the immediate now, with smiling kindness. And then open the body to allow our raw feelings to express themselves. Raw feelings are those before we strategize or analyze them into submission. 

How does my pain feel? This level of investigation does not need words or concepts. When asked how they feel humans will typically screw their eyes up in puzzlement. This is the big brain trying to interpret a very simple thing: feelings are feelings. You feel them rather than think about them. Feelings are in the body. When we tense the body and hide in the brain, we lose contact with a very intimate part of our experience. In a sense, when we are locked in our head, we lose contact with ourselves.

When we lose contact, we can reset and come back.

STOP – just create a gap in the torrent of mental reasoning. 

DROP – bring awareness to the raw experience of the body.

OPEN – release the grip we have on ourselves.

BREATHE – allow the breath to calm the nervous system. Bring yourself back home, back to you.

BE – with your feelings as they are, holding space in your open body. 

Once we’ve reset in this way, we are no longer in the grip of terror. We are feeling our fear and being brave enough to stay with that. Released from its reactive defense, the Heart is free to open and heal the wounds we’ve created. And the Mind, released into a more natural flow, can see clearly, finding new and creative remedies for old fears.  

When we are able to smile at fear, we are placing our mind of fearfulness in the cradle of loving kindness. And when we step beyond that into openness, we are fearless. 

 

Subduing Mara